So I've been home for 3 weeks now. Which is the same amount of time that I was in Romania. Boy is it crazy how differently time passes depending on where you are, who you're with, what you're doing, and whether you're comfortable or not. Being back in San Diego and getting to sleep in my own bed, seeing familiar faces, and getting back into my routine has made the time pass so quickly.
The flight back to L.A. felt like it took FOREVER!!! But it was all work it when after we landed, made it through customs, and got our luggage, I saw my Mom, Daddy, and Miguel there waiting for me with burritos and milk in hand :) And let me tell you, I devoured it all in record time!!
When we got home I got to see Sean, Liz, Brett, and of course my Laura!!! Sadly I had to see that disgusting fat lard Frank too. It felt so good to be at home with the people I love. I was able to show them a bunch of photos and videos from the trip!!
Looking through all the footage and talking about the trip is incredibly bittersweet. Going on the trip, working with such loving people, exploring new cities, and getting to play with the adorable children made it all a positive experience. And then there were a few things that made it not so positive. Getting sick wasn't too enjoyable, neither was missing my family and friends, but the part that hurt the most was leaving the babies behind.
Knowing that I got to come back home, but that they had to stay there hit me really hard the first week or so of being back. They were constantly on my mind, especially little baby Alex (kissy duck noise boy). It felt like I was in a funk. I had images of the babies stuck in my head that I couldn't get out. I just kept re-seeing some like this:
I was (and am) so happy to be home and surrounded by the people and things that I love, but it all made me feel.... selfish? I'm not really sure what the word would be to describe the type of feelings. It seemed like I felt like I did so much good while I was there, but then I left and that was it. It all just ended. I won't get to make a difference in their lives anymore. And that was really hard for me to handle. I love babies so much, and knowing that they are still there is heartbreaking. After talking to some friends and family members about the trip and how I was feeling I seemed to be getting a similar response from everyone.
They helped me come to the conclusion that I know what I did there effected people's lives positively and made an impact. And everyone from there made an impact on me too. I have been keeping in contact with everyone that I met with while I was there, and it is so good to get to hear from them. And now I try to keep some of the more happy images in my head like these:
Hollie & Jen made it back to Pennsylvania and have gotten to meet up with each other and keep in touch with all of us through facebook. Hollie mailed me all of the pictures that she took with her camera! And sent a cute card along with them saying how blessed and happy she was that she had met me. It was really sweet of her. I miss her and Jen a lot.
I got to talk to Joe the other day on facebook chat and catch up with him on how things are going there at the hospital. He gave me such good news that I just have to pass on to everyone that had read my previous blog posts. He told me that Roxy, the little girl who had been abused, got put into a foster home!! Here is Jenna & Roxy:
Joe was very excited to tell me the news so it sounds like she is in a much better place!! And then he told me that Alex went home. And when I first heard this news I was taken back and sad to hear that, because for most of the children their home life isn't so great. But, apparently Alex does have a good home with loving parents they just were having financial trouble so they brought him there until they were back on their feet. Hearing that put my heart at ease. I know that there are so many other children still there, but knowing that Alex was safe and being loved is what I needed to hear most.
I still want to try and see what I can do from over here to help out, so if you have any suggestions let me know. They are always needing volunteers and/or trying to raise money to buy diapers for the babies.
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I am working on trying to get a video put together of all the footage and pictures that I have from the trip. Turns out I don't know anything about making movies, or just using my computer at all for that matter. Watching Michael, Mr. High-tech, try to show me how to do things was pretty amusing. After much torture to both of us, I begged enough for him to just burn them all onto disks and take them home with him so that he can try and do it from his gigantic Mac at home. I'm going to try and explain how I want it to go, but either way I'm just thankful he is willing to help! My goal is to try and get them out as soon as possible so I can send a disk with the video on it along with a thank you card so that everyone can get to see all that went on!!
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Since I've been back things are going pretty well. The first few days were great! I got to eat all the foods I had missed so much and got to see people that I loved and catch up! Then, about 3 days after I got back things took a turn for the worse and were a bit rough. I was really dehydrated and malnourished. I was constantly tired and no matter how much I slept I just couldn't get enough. Monday morning I woke up to go to work and got so light-headed in the shower that I ended up passing out. I was fine, but it really scared me. I called my parents and they said they would drive down to come see me and make sure I was okay. And then Allyson, Shandley, and Bray came over and took me to the hospital just in case. This is how I know that Ally really loves me: she's a germaphobe and sat with me in the waiting room full of sickies!!
The doctors and nurses were all really nice. They gave me an iv and ran some blood tests. They said everything came back okay but just to take it easy for a few days. Ter kept trying to convince me to come all the way back home with her, but I just wanted to sleep in my own bed. Mainly, I just didn't want to give-in to the sickness. I figured if I just toughed it out i'd be done with it quicker. I'm really glad that my Mom stayed, it was nice to have her comforting presence there, plus she cleaned everything :) haha. The next 2 days I was still really weak and had no appetite. Even my favorite foods sounded so gross. But by Thursday morning I was feeling a lot better and Bradyn and I got to go to Seaworld!! Oh how I had missed that place! And Michael just came down to visit so we all got to go to Seaworld together! Now things seem to be back into their normal routine- babysitting, soccer, eating, boating, seaworld, etc.
I know, I know, "poor Cissy Butler" as my Mom likes to say. But the one thing that the trip taught me most was to be so thankful for what you do have in your life. And boy oh boy did I realize just how much I have to be thankful for. My list could go on and on.
Thanks for reading along and supporting me as always! I love you and as any other information comes in I will be sure to update you!
Here is a picture of Alex and I!
