Today was our last day in the Hospital, in Romania, and with all the people from FFR. My whole day was filled with so many different emotions. I think I underestimated how hard it was going to be to say goodbye to the babies in the hospital and the girls from FFR.
We worked the morning shift today with Joe. It was kinda relaxing just the three of us going around together. And Joe was so sweet! He knew that it was our last day and that we were going to want to be spending as much time with the little ones as we could, so he let us sit and hold the babies while he went around and changed all the diapers. I told him that his wife is truly going to love him one day (while he was cleaning a very messy diaper) and he laughed and said oh she better! It was pretty funny. He is really nice I am going to miss him. But thanks to good old Facebook, we will be able to keep in contact.
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Saying goodbye to little baby Alex (kissy sound baby), broke my heart today. I went in to see him and he got a big smile on his face and put his arms up towards me. I picked him up and gave him the biggest hug. He rested his head on my shoulder for a bit, and then sat up and was ready to play! We took some pictures and videos on my camera, and he loved getting to watch himself on there. I tried getting him to say his name by pointing at the pictures of him and saying Alex. It took awhile but we finally got the slightest hint of "Ale-" out. It was really cute. He is an incredibly smart little boy and I hope and pray that he gets that love and attention that he deserves in order to continue to foster a healthy life and stimulate his learning. After playing for a bit he rested his head on my shoulder and I sat in the rocking chair and we both dozed off. Then it came time to go and pass out diapers to the other floors, so I carefully and slowly placed him back into his crib. Thankfully he stayed asleep because seeing him cry would have broken my heart.
We went up and passed out the diapers and talked to a few of the nurses. Then we came back down to Alex's floor and I walked into his room and he was awake and crying :( He put his arms up into the air towards me and I just couldn't resist. I changed his diaper and then had to hold him in my arms again. I had to run into the room that shared a window with his room really quick to change a diaper in there. Putting him down was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. He clung to me with all he had. I walked out of the room and heard the screams coming from him. I walked into the room next door and he was up against his crib holding on to the bars crying his eyes out just staring at me. I fell apart. I quickly changed the diaper and had to go back to Alex. This is where Joe stepped up to the plate and was so kind. He told me to just stay there and hang out with Alex while he went around changing the diapers. Alex just wanted to be held and loved. We sat back into the rocking chair and he fell asleep. I held him as tight as I could and asked God to please watch over this little boy. I don't really know what it is or why, but I felt/feel so connected to Alex. I got pretty emotional while sitting there with him in my arms. Even typing this now, forcing myself back into those moments and memories is bringing tears to my eyes. We rocked in the chair for about 30 more minutes. When it came time to leave, I knew that it was going to be tough. The odds of him staying asleep when I put him down weren't good. And the thought of him crying as I walk away hurts so badly. I got up, slowly moved him into his crib, continued to rub his back, closed the crib, and tried to make my silent get-away. I got out of the room, and that's when I heard it. The sound of his cry and the look on his face when I glanced back over my shoulder and saw him through the window will forever be engrained in my mind.
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We had dinner at the girls house tonight. It was so sweet of them to invite us over and make it for us. Then we watched a little bit of the Oscars, chatted, had some dessert, and said our goodbyes. It will be nice to be able to keep up with everyone that I have met while I am here. It truly is like a family here, that no one can fully understand unless they experience it themselves. They are all so welcoming and so loving. I am going to miss karaoke nights, crazy Romanian birthday parties, American TV nights, and getting to talk with everyone and learn about their lives. I will miss you all so much. Thank you for everything.
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Our flight leaves in the morning, and then we get home Thursday night at around 7pm where Ter will greet us with burritos in hand. I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much again for helping make this experience possible for me. I love you.
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